All In a Day

I have this bad habit, and probably even a sin, where I measure the quality of my day by the number of things that did or did not go the way I expected and/or planned. Then at the end of the day I usually weigh them against each other and evaluate my day. On days that I have a lot of stuff going on, I'm particularly more sensitive to little irritations because they seem amplified because of the stress I'm already experiencing with my schedule and responsibilities. But God is so fun because whenever these silly things happen that drive me crazy but shouldn't bother me, so many other wonderful things I don't deserve happen and remind me that each day is great because of God's grace. Today was one of those todays.

Today I had a final exam, a group presentation to give, and a paper due, so I wasn't exactly excited about the day. But, it was the last day of classes for the semester which is sweet. So I was half excited, half dreading the day and wanted to savor the couple of minutes my snooze button offered me before getting up. I had asked one of my roommates to make sure I was up and she bursts in the room saying "wakey, wakey" in a voice that seemed loud but probably really wasn't. I'm definitely not a morning person and I hate when people wake me up singing or in loud voices, so it wasn't the best start to my day. But, like I said, it's insignificant. So I go into the bathroom and my wonderful roommate had written me an encouraging note with a verse and propped it up in our bathroom for me to see! Notes like that seriously make my day and it meant a lot to me. After my shower I check the weather and it's raining currently and forecasts rain for the rest of the day. Sweet. I had to wear nice clothes for my presentation, so I couldn't wear sweats and my rain boots like I wanted. Plus my rain boots have cupcakes all over them, and I figured that wouldn't be entirely appropriate since our presentation was on diabetes and obesity. Also, because it's raining, I can't wear khakis, so I wear the darkest pair of jeans I own. Those jeans also happen to be my longest jeans, which of course are already wet by the time I get in my car to drive to campus. I get to campus on time, find a decent parking spot, and begin the trek to Architecture Annex. There's this horrible puddle in front of DX, so as I'm concentrating really hard on not stepping in it, I totally step in another one. My entire foot is submerged in water. Mind you, I'm wearing moccasins with no socks. So my foot is soaking wet five minutes into my day and only...eight hours to go. Awesome. After my Arabic final which was super easy, I experienced delayed gratification and the joys of waiting on the Lord's timing and not taking things into my own hands. Definitely worth it. A few hours later I'm getting ready to give my presentation and realize that despite my deliberation over my outfit for the day, I chose poorly. I was wearing a boat-neck shirt, which so clearly showed the red splotchy nervous rash I get on my chest when I'm nervous. Thankfully I had my scarf to throw on before we gave our presentation, I think we did well despite the red bumps taking over my body. As I'm leaving class, I'm on the phone talking to my sister crossing the crosswalk and this bus starts barreling towards me. It scared me so much so I was just standing there frozen in place looking straight into the windshield, and the bus had to slam on its brakes to prevent from hitting me. I felt like it was a scene from the movie, because I easily would have been out of the way if I had not stopped and stared at it like an idiot. My last class of the semester (!) got out an hour early, so I was really excited until I almost got to my car and realized I left my scarf on my seat. So I turned around and went all the way back to retrieve my $2 scarf that was really supposed to be like $20. So it was worth the return trip. Since being at home, this evening has been pretty uneventful, thankfully.

Days like this make me laugh, because I realize how silly I am for caring about dumb stuff like weather and being nervous about a presentation that lasts for a total of 10 minutes. I mean, it's all gonna burn. The joy of the Lord is so much bigger than all of this, and I need to do a better job of focusing on that.

"The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." Lamentations 3:22-23

I Caved

So here I am, finally climbing onto the blog bandwagon. Confession: I've actually had this blog for a month but couldn't decide if I really wanted to use it or not. I kept weighing the pros and cons, but I finally realized how relaxing it is for me to write, so here I am.

First, an understanding with anyone who reads this. Much of my writing may tend to fall to the extremes of really depressed or really happy. That does not mean it necessarily reflects how I think all of the time. This is an outlet for my thoughts, thoughts that may exist for only a short time and it just happens to be the time I am writing. Also, my family tells me I tend to exaggerate stories. But seriously, who wants to hear a boring story? So just bear with me.

I've called my blog (for the time being) reflections at gloaming. This is because after my busy day, I usually begin to wind down at twilight. As I try to forget about the busyness and stress of the day, random thoughts begin filling my head. Maybe it's like this for everyone, I don't know. But I mull over these thoughts throughout the evening as I work and get dinner, and by nighttime I'm ready to get them out of my head so I can fully relax and go to sleep. So please, be patient with the randomness and, at times, irrelevant musings. Fontenelle said it well:

"The day doesn't inspire sadness and passion like the night, when everything seems to be at rest. We imagine that the stars move more quietly than the sun; everything is softer than starlight; we can fix our eyes more comfortably on the heavens; our thoughts are freer because we're so foolish as to imagine ourselves the only ones abroad to dream. Besides, in daylight we see nothing but sun and blue sky, but the night gives us all the profusion of stars in a thousand different random designs, stirring as many pleasantly confused thoughts in us."
Bernard le Bovier de Fontenelle